However, you must remember that youre applying the no contact rule to avoid this from happening. Here are 7 stages dumpers go through after the dust settles on the breakup. he wants to make love with me and different women. I know it is hard to swallow this piece of information if you are the dumpee but. Stages of no contact for the dumper: 1. How To Know If Your Ex Is Still In Love With You, How To Stick with No Contact and Help to Stay in No Contact. Speaking from the dumpee perspective, (9-10 months no contact) I think for anyone who has been through these stages before and going through again, the dumpees reach the realization stages much quicker than the first experience. This may be because most of them have a strong support system, and they find it easier to open up to their families and peers. Stage 2: The Rationalization Stage: This is . Ive seen it happen too many times so just dont go there. You cant bake the cake faster by turning up the heat. Your email address will not be published. Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. Thepsychology of no contact on dumperis different from what the dumpee has to go through during the phase. Most people desire a romantic companion and so the relief period is almost always short lived. This is often the hardest among allphases of no contact. The 7 Components Of Male Psychology During No-Contact Rule - Backed By Your email address will not be published. Everyone deals with loss in their own way and has unique coping mechanisms. Will My Ex Forget About Me During No Contact? Be you and dont be afraid to open your heart again! Its difficult, but it will be doubly hard if you wont take this time to think, care about yourself more, and work hard to become a better person outside of a relationship. Thats when someone takes an action that they believe to be morally wrong or know will have certain negative consequences for them, but they dont seem to see the consequence as being real until they experience it. If, after reaching Stage 4. of the dumper stage, as we covered earlier, your ex falls into the first scenario: #1 They Feel Relieved and Free , then, no, doing no contact will not hurt them. If youre already almost over this breakup, offer yourself the chance to meet new people if youre ready. Now theyre dealing with loneliness and starting to embrace their feelings. It all depends on the reason the breakup happened and what type of attachment one has to the breakup. This is a tricky part for some people, especially those who got dumped because they cant seem to comprehend what really happened. After the break up: This is the moment that both of you go through different things. How to talk with your ex after a breakup: 14 tips & 15 questions, 12 tips on what to do after no contact: 14 unique texts to respond back, Understand the female psychology during No Contact through 9 key stages: 17+ thoughts, 7 rules for healthy texting habits at early stages of dating. The realization that youre slowly accepting his choice and learning to be happy again can be daunting for him. But you also cant allow this insecurity to be a host in your head for too long. You could simply say, Hey there! This can hit some dumpers after a month but for someone, it takes more time. These are all normal responses to being rejected by your ex, and you shouldnt feel ashamed. Relief. The reason for that is because time is an essential part of the recipe. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Hes in disbelief and just cant wrap his mind around it. He will enjoy his first week as a single man. If anything, they feel exactly the opposite as they'd been dying to break up with the dumpee and get a breath of fresh air. ), the sooner they will get past this phase or period and start experiencing the negative consequences of breaking up with you. This may be because most of them have a strong support system, and they find it easier to open up to their families and peers. But will getting back with an ex without going through the proper, According to studies, women experience the more. As the dumper, they held control of the situation. With it you can gain immensely from my two decades in the relationship-recovery service. Dumpers Regret Timeline - 12 Breakup Stages Your Ex Will Go Through Keep a journal and write down what are your bad and good traits, how you can fix those flaws, and open your heart to new friends and family members. The dumper finds you more attractive, and interesting and wants to be around you. It's the dumper's version of what you felt after they broke up with you. Instead of thinking about your ex, you have to focus on self-improvement and healing. Try to focus on your needs and create a stable mindset by distracting yourself from your ex. Leave him and hopefully he grows up and you meet someone worthy of your love. You dont want a similar situation taking place because you know youre not going to get anything good out of it. Get more information on the Kit by CLICKING HERE! Did I do something wrong or didnt I do something for her? Some of these breakthroughs or psychological finish lines serve to guide your ex to yet another plane of thinking, reflecting, and inner journeying. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle Read more in their lives too. Theno contact rule psychologyis not about making your ex miss you so that they will make the first move. With all the trouble youve gone through having been dumped, you deserve a bit of a fresh start. Your reaction at this point is vital to getting them back. You can now contact your ex and see where it leads. What Is the Psychology of No Contact on the Dumper? You probably didnt give it much thought until it happened, so what can you expect now? Its been 1 week since I did not hear from him. It takes some time for your ex to find the courage, the moment, and the reason to say it. If you are the dumper, you may feel more in control at the beginning of the breakup. Here we go. The part when the dumper starts to worry about why you are so distant and not needy anymore is the moment when the breakup just starts to hit your ex. Your ex might probably even feel lighter and happier that the relationship has ended. Here are the 3 painful stages of no contact for the dumpee. You can start to question yourself; whether there was something you couldve done differently, something you couldve done better, and so on. The questions about why your ex is not making a move to get back together might haunt you. The first stage was relief to have the breakup over with, but the second stage is curiosity (see my article, Stages Your Ex Goes Through During No Contact as additional reading after youve read this article all the way to the end). But, right now things are progressing for you differently. According to how you broke up, the dumper after 6 months might decide to either move on or reconcile. (Also see my article: Stages To Getting Back Together With An Ex). The dumpee cannot believe or accept that the breakup is happening and so denies it. Because the grief cycle can hit different males and females. But, if the dumper hasnt changed or created a new mindset, then this person might get back to you for their own needs. The stages of the no contact rule are periods that both the dumper and the dumpee go through. I have a deep understanding of masculine and feminine psychology, the biological influences that shape our relationships today, and the ways people communicate their romantic feelings and intentions. Psychology Of The No Contact Rule On A Dumper - Ex Boyfriend Recovery they have this female urge that feels like they have to be still pursued. What are the stages of no contact for a dumper? by Relationships expert, author, podcaster, and speaker, Natalie Lue. The initial no contact is one of the most critical stages of a breakup. 30 to 60 days post-break-up is when no contact hits the dumper. Therefore, he also goes through certain stages once the no contact rule is applied. You can even do so by engaging in a new hobby that will occupy your thoughts. Nevertheless, you should be careful when choosing what your next step is going to be after you separate. This confuses me so much because I dont know thing was just a rebound for her after her relationship with her ex. Can you and your ex go on with your lives and how will it look after the breakup? Before you do, control your emotions and thoughts. No contact psychologically turns the tables. Watch the video above all the way through as Coach Lee discusses the stages your ex will go through while you are using the no contact rule. If you havent watched the video above, scroll back up to do that since I provide more detailed information there and because most people say that they gain new insights that really help from that video (click here to go back up to watch it)! How come? However, when he sees that its not going to happen, thats when hell start getting worried. Ok. How long does it take for the dumper to get over the breakup? Your ex doesnt have to come face to face with the possibility of wanting you back but being unable to have you because you are showing him/her that you are continually available for reconciliation. One of the stages of no contact for a man is the bargaining stage, where, in a desperate attempt to make amends, he may say whatever the female wants to hear at the moment. My Ex Is Seeing Someone Else During No Contact. My Ex Boyfriend or Girlfriend Says They Want Space or Time, When Your Ex Says They Arent Ready For A Relationship, How To Stick with No Contact and Help to Stay in No Contact, Did You Ruin Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Back. At this point, all that has happened is that your ex has turned back toward you in terms of their attention. You will need their help to finish all the. The dumper goes from being the avoidant to the anxious one: Usually, in the beginning, a dumper is all filled with the energy of moving on, changing things, and getting out of your life. A mix of emotions might start to surface once he sees you doing fine without him. in many cases. Being the one to call things off carries a great responsibility. If you think it is easier for males to recover from a breakup even if they initiated it, you are wrong. Its a heart-breaking scene and now, it feels like youre reliving it. This video covers the 7 stages the dumper goes through during no contact.Get our full "Get Your Ex Back" system at: https://www.easyexback.comGetting dumped . However, dont wave your white flag just yet. As a rule, avoid chasing-like behaviors at all costs. It relies on the reason that the breakup happened and on the type of person. You can see how this can begin to truly work on your ex and cause them to seriously consider your role in their life and to reach out with desperation. Some might realize that they want you back the moment they have zero contact with you for a certain period. Prepare yourselves for a rollercoaster of emotions - going through a breakup will always be chaotic and messy. If you decide to go No Contact then the tables will turn. Read less. In this stage, dumpers don't feel any remorse at all. This already puts you ahead of the game so to speak in terms of getting your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend back because there are all kinds of stories of crazy exes fighting and chasing their ex to get them back. The Stage. It is during this time that they go through stages of reaction based on the dumpers experience without you. The difference relies on the person and how one chooses to cope with the breakup and take the consequences. For some people and in many cases, this is when no contact starts working enough that your ex reaches out to you. The psychological affects of the no contact rule on an ex is something I am asked about often. Your ex also likely begins to wonder who you are doing things with and since they have no answers, this mystery sticks with them with growing intensity. Its interesting how people come to the realization of what theyve done only after some time passes. People often think that their ex walks away unscathed after they break up with them. Your ex could seem clueless as to why you arent trying to reach out to him. This is a common mistake many people make until it becomes an obsession. Thats not accepted here. Kyle Larson collected in Chastain-Poole contact at Dover | NASCAR At this point in the timeline your ex will wonder why you havent reached out to them and why you havent tried to get them back. Heartbreak is complicated and everyone experiences it in different ways. The distance that you have kept makes you more mysterious. Exploring Male Psychology: 9 Stages & 22 Things that Go in - HeTexted But, usually the moment the dumper regrets his or her decision is when they realize that they arent part of your life anymore. You are practically all they can think about at this stage. But, this stage usually happens during the fourth week or after that. Why? It may be harder to cope since most males arent used to opening up about how they feel to family and friends. If not, then he just doesnt deserve you and hes the one at loss. Stages To Getting Back Together With An Ex, stages an ex goes through during no contact, Stages your ex goes through during no contact. If the dumper is the one who initiated the breakup that doesnt mean a dumper will move on faster than a dumpee. The first stage was relief to have the breakup over with, but the second stage is curiosity (see my article, " Stages Your Ex Goes Through During No Contact " as additional reading after you've read this article all the way to the end). , who is a male becomes more challenging if his ex is the only confidante he has had for the longest time. Grab Now! This mystery leads them to a beginner level of understanding that the breakup has consequences. Your ex realizes that you could be the one to want something else. Wants to be left alone and feels that did the best decision by breaking up Both genders are relieved at first and do not want to be begged or pleaded. It demands attention, investigation, reflection, and can lead to preoccupation. But, as the Eagles say in their song, Desperado: Freedom, oh freedom. When that realization hits you, a wave of different emotions comes washing over you like a tsunami. This is one of the stages of the no contact rule where you, as a dumpee, may feel confused but relieved at the same time. When you feel that way, restrain yourself from doing something you might regret later on. If you feel now at this stage that things are not messed up for you then do not feel pressured to connect yet. That doesnt mean that you say, Well I havent missed you.. Stage 4, in the stages of no contact for the dumper, is fear. How do you explain thepsychology of no contact on dumper? The psychology of the no contact rule on your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend after they dumped you is that your ex must experience the consequences of the breakup in order to realize if they actually want it or not. Its a question in your exs mind of which only you are the answer. It doesnt matter whether they initiated it or not. , women recover faster and come out stronger. Stages of No Contact For The Dumper. . If the dumper was emotionally strong and noticed that there was no future for both of you then this person will be happy for your new future. This will help you immensely on your road to recovery and save you from ending up chasing after your ex like theres no tomorrow. After the breakup, you may feel as if youve just lost the battle and youre going home with your tail tucked under. Its one thing to understand what a breakup means. "Pauline hasn't rung me at any stage; I've had no contact from her whatsoever," Latham told Chris Smith. Factor that in with the realization that your ex had you but tossed you aside. He may be the one that called off the whole thing, but its not written in stone he cant feel the same way. This usually causes your ex to exit the rebound even earlier so breathe a sigh of relief for that. He may be curious about your new life and whether you already found someone to share your sorrows with. 2. I HIGHLY recommend my Emergency Breakup Kit. Its not always easy being the one who has to end the relationship. It depends on their type and how the dumper reacts to his decisions and on the breakup. Dumpers Regret Timeline 12 Breakup Stages Your Ex Will Go Through, 7 Frightening Ways A Toxic Relationship Can Influence Your Body, Your email address will not be published. The Best Relationship Advice Youve Never Heard! don't contact her for 30 to 60 days) after a break up: 1. Kyle Larson sustains damage as Chastain-Poole contact sparks Dover crash. he cheated reapeatedly, and i gave him so many chances. You will nourish yourself whereas your ex will question his or her decision. They'd thought about freedom and craved independence for a very long time, hence the name independence stage. She broke up with me because shes not in love with me anymore. for males is challenging, but they have to stick to it to make it work. They will feel lonely, be mad, question their decision, not know what they want, and learn to cope with reality. It wont help you at this point. Its hard to deal with it, and if youre a hopeless romantic, you may still try to work things out. How would you feel if you found out that your partner didnt love you anymore but didnt have the guts to break it to you? I often compare the psychology of the no contact rule on an ex to a cake baking in the oven. The Ultimate Guide To The No Contact Rule - Max Jancar Articles on dating relationships, getting an ex back after a break up, and content to help you experience the best in your relationships. It wont work that way. Callisto Adams has been a dating and relationship expert for more than 7 years. Its at this point that you need to keep some mystery, but you also need to get your ex face to face because that is when you can be your most influential and attractive. A big part of it is due to the jealousy that arises when he sees you living your life to the fullest without him. If there were more positives than negatives, this may help her forgive you and reconcile the relationship, which is to your advantage if you want to get back together. How To Know If Your Ex Is Still In Love With You, What To Do If My Ex Is In A New Rebound Relationship, How To Save Your Relationship From Ending. 2 or 3 months after the breakup the dumper starts to feel low and lonely. The moment that the dumper questions that this person has made a bad mistake by breaking up with you are when he/she realizes that you can be on your own and maybe move on. If you had your heart broken, it was probably a terrible experience. Thats when the pressure greatly intensifies. Coach Lee compares the experience of the dumper and the dumped (or dumpee) while the person who was dumped is using the No Contact Rule.Get Info on Coach Lee. It sounds silly that someone is getting worked up over leaving their partner, but it happens often. If they have decided to move on without you, accept the fate and let go. This is where he decides to occupy himself and not let himself show any signs of weakness. is different from what the dumpee has to go through during the phase. The dumper and the dumpee, both go through pain, anxiety, fear of loss, jealousy, hate, and reconsideration through different stages. To put it in a few words: A woman waits during the first days that you're the one that has to contact her and show that you've changed. 5 Stages of Dumpers' Remorse: When Does It Set In? The, psychology of no contact on female dumper. To be updated by email when we have new content, click here to join our free mailing list. See our Terms of Use. 5 Ways Your Ex Will Test You and How (and Why), My Ex Boyfriend or Girlfriend Says They Want Space or Time, The No Contact Rule When You Live With Your Ex. The no contact rule will help both parties who have decided to break up to move on and learn how to be better people outside of the relationship. They were your dictator, holding the power. Later, through the last stages, the dumper will switch from the avoidant mode to the anxious one. That's why when the no-contact rule is brought into effect, the dumper experiences a sense of relief. Stage 4, in the stages of no contact for the dumper, is fear. Thats why during the No contact the dumper and the dumpee swap the feelings interchangeably. This could take him back to those good times you shared together and invoke a plethora of emotions. For some dumpers, there is also a stage before they consider ending the relationship. No contact is not about being cold or playing hard to get. Your relationship just ended and its only normal that you dont feel your best. Your ex can expect your call every hour of the day. The Denial of Reality When we feel something shouldn't be happening or that it can't be happening, we deny the reality of it. After you split up with your ex, the stages of no contact become a part of your new life. Yet, the difference between men and women relies on women when they dont want to be begged to come back but yet deep down in the first weeks, they have this female urge that feels like they have to be still pursued. This is especially helpful to keeping you on your exs mind since they used to have the answer. The stages of the no contact rule include the period where the dumper almost reconsiders his decisions. What are the stages a dumper goes through after a breakup? All rights reserved. During the first days of No Contact, a female dumper will think that you're mad about being dumped but that's what men do and your anger will go after a couple of days.